I can't stop thinking. sigh. Why can't right and wrong be clearly separated? One might say something is right while the other might see it as wrong.
When someone commited a crime, he knew it's wrong but he did it anyway due to some reasons. But at least he knew it's wrong. So why can't someone see the devil in plain? I think it's quite easy to spot one.
Do you really can't see it or u refuse to see it? Or are u one of them?
So many things happened in life that I don't know what to do. But maybe, nothing has happened at all and it's all my imagination playing a trick on me. I look at those around me and think they have all moved on and accomplished many things. But me? I'm stepping on the same spot. We all walked. They moved forward, I walked on the spot.
Looking back at the past 7 mths, I don't see any change in my life. Zero movement, zero accomplishment.
Looking at the sky, I never see the same pattern twice but looking at myself, I'm seeing the same thing I saw at the beginning of year. WHY?
I realised I've lapsing into the same thoughts every time I'm down. What am I doing in this world? If I have a choice, I want to sleep and never wake up. Til now, I still have not find my motivation to live. No motivation in life and I'm still asking myself what am I doing in this world. Someone once told me,
"patt, when u think ur facing a wall of bleakness in life and u feel really helpless against, torrents and tides of difficulties, u must always rmb that besides the big picture ur seeing, there are also many little things here and there, these, lil things might seem insignificant but w/o it the big picture can never be completed as well.."
I know u won't be reading this, but I'd like to thank you. Thanks for always be there. I have not found anyone who understand me as much as u do. I miss you.
I know this entry is very random and confusing. But that reflects my feelings right now. So many thoughts in my head, so many things left undone. So many thoughts left unfinished.
Many people have been worried abt me these few days. And many people have done many things to touch me, whether they mean it or not. Jamie, if u're reading this, thank you so much. You never fail to put a smile on my face :)
I've made up my mind that I've to move on. Stop thinking about the past. But that's not easy. Especially in my case. But I'll try.
"For moving forwards is rarely accomplished without considerable grief and sadness."
Every time I see someone falling in love, I am touched. I don't know how to describe that feeling. It is like you are being asked to witness their love. To assure them that what they are feeling is real. So, every time anyone told me they are in love, the first thing that comes to my mind is "how sure are they?". I know that's mean but how could they know? Don't get me wrong, I've been in love. But, I asked myself the same question every time.
My answer?, "I don't know."
I think love is just a feeling. No explanation needed. But because I care for my friends so much, that's why that question always pops out. I do not want them to get hurt. I've been hurt and that does not feel good.
For every new chapter in your life, my friends, I hope it will only bring you happiness and not tear.
Live in the present, not in the past nor future. Today is what we have, tomorrow is too far and yesterday is gone.
